31.07.06 (category: news)
Atm I'm sitting at work, going on the 2nd hour now. Today it's rainy, which is great, and I'd rather be doing something else. I've applied for two other bedsits that I can afford, since one of the roomies got back from holiday yesterday, and I consequently recalled why I wanted to move in the first place..
That's life, brothers and sisters.
Oh, and it seems I might be a tad late with my university application. I've been so lazy that it's down to a problem of definition now. Am I an ongoing student, a student in the middle of my degree, or a new student? If I'm new, I'm fucked, 'cause the deadline was the 15th of June. If I'm a veteran, I'm good for another month. I'm thinking about applied ethics (FIL2308) for 10 points, and then I only need to scavange 20 other points from somewhere. If I don't I might as well call my bluff and start writing semi-full time, hoping I actually complete some of my work before I end up a lonely alcoholic.
I might pop down to Kristiansand this week, to chill by the seaside. I'm undecided.
posted by Sigg3 @ 2:53 pm
29.07.06 (category: news)
Sitting here at one am in the morning. It's damp outside, it rained a little earlier, and the clouds make for a dark night. I've been writing all day, so I thought I deserved a beer. Tom Waits and ensemble are performing Frank's Wild Years on my ear. If I could choose a score for my life, Tom Waits would have most of the tracks. But anyway.
* may contain some spoilers *
I met my two brothers yesterday, and we went to see the movie made from the popular game called Silent Hill. It's something of a Resident Evil clone, talking about the games, but there's no doubt that SH stands on its own two feet as a shit scary game to play. The kind that makes you crawl into the innermost corner of your couch, staring terrified at the gaming console lying there in front of you. You can almost touch it, but you don't dare to. But you've already won Teletubbies - Silence of the Lambs two times, and you really want to see the end of this game. It's just that.. can you hold my hand?
And just like the Resident Evil movie(s), the Silent Hill film wants to keep the eerie game-like feeling intact, and it does exactly this with some brilliant photography. A few times I even thought they had grained down the shots to make it feel like Playstation. Thumbs up!
I was expecting the story to be a The Ring clone, and I was partially right. What's up with horror movie producers and little, dark haired girls? How about a mad cow with nightmares that become real? No. Just little, dark haired girls drawing worrying pictures while sleeping. Even Freud would say: Yez. They doo haf some izzues.
An evil cow would scare the shit out of me.
It wasn't as scary as it was eeky. You wanted to go 'Yuck!' more than 'Shit, I think I soiled my pants'. But I did have some comments along the road that I just barely surpressed by biting my tounge.
First of all, just a comment to the mother of the adopted kid; chill. We're in the 21st century now, just put the kid on valium and you won't have to risk your life. Of course, she'll be a drug addict for the rest of her life, but compare that to being the spawn of Satan and then do the math.
Second. Why do you enter a closed-down town in the middle of nowhere all alone, when you can call for help? 911, anyone? National Guard? The Police? CNN? 60 Minutes?
Okay, so the line is scrambled. Send an SMS text-message!
Third. When you know that something fishy, something fishy in a very evil way is going on, and you don't have a shred of doubt that your daughter is more than you can handle, also in an evil way; why, oh, why, are you running around a toxic town, picking up clues to find her, risking your life and sanity every step of the way? Just curious.
Fourth. Gollum actually plays in this movie. He's in there for just a little while, in the schoolyard after the airstrike alarm went off. Then he's replaced by burning, mutated children. And it's not really an airstrike, but I thought that the first time. I think it's good they starred some quality actors.
Fifth of all, what's up with the guy with the beak? I just wonder. How did he get his head stuck in a snowplow? All right, I can see that you're pissed off, but if you insist on stabbing people, why not use some ordinary sized cutlery that you can handle? It's not very manly to drag a sword around.
Sixth of all, doesn't it seem slightly improbable that all you have to do to find the secret police records from the 1930s is to open a door? Have you ever seen an archive? Even the strange guy called Rufus, who's spent all his life down there, can't find it that fast. Rufus was not in the film, though.
Seventh of all, let's say it like it was. They were Jehova's Witnesses, right?
Eight of all, if all of this running around - the entire movie, in fact - was just to make mum bring the darkness into that church, why didn't you just ask? Hmm? It's a simple question.
Ninth, why do I have the feeling a little, dark haired girl is staring at me right now?
It was an entertaining flick, but nothing I'll remember for years, or days, to come. Michael gave it a D+, but I think I'll advance it to a D. Since I'm more into Resident Evil, and head over heals in love with Milla Jovovich, Silent Hill can't compete, and I honestly think it is just a cash machine, except for those few who dared finish the game. But the movie served its purpouse for a couple of hours.
posted by Sigg3 @ 2:06 am
27.07.06 (category: news)
Back to civilization. Need some time 'fore I blog. Just saying hi. Hi.
From the airbag in my aunt's car:
WARNING: May cause serious injury or death.
Makes perfect sense that airbags kill you, doesn't it?
posted by Sigg3 @ 3:44 pm
19.07.06 (category: computerwelt)
Long time since I did the stats of this page. Not because I'm ashamed of anything, or because I need bragging rights, but because most people just ignore them.
I know I do.
This time, I thought I'd try the recent tool from google, namely Google Analytics. I think they might have a better way to track unique visitors than tools like webalizer. If you have any comments or experience with website statistics, and what to make of them, please comment below the post. Thanks to my cousin for the tip!
Data is from 9th of June until the 18th of July 2006 (40 days).
Unique visits: 6,430 (156.6 per day)
Unique pageviews: 8,388
Returning visitors: 381
Pageviews per visit: 1.30
1. Internet Explorer - (56.24%)
2. Mozilla Firefox - (36.61%)
1. Windows (94.04%)
2. Macintosh (4.21%)
3. Linux (1.52%)
By screen resolution:
1. 1024x768 (52.41%)
2. 1280x1024 (16.69%)
3. 800x600 (10.25%)
50.50% came for the blog
49.19% came for History of the Word Fuck
Top ten Cities/Regions/Countries:
2. (not set)
3. Los Angeles
I've never really trusted Webalizer, but I found their Country list quite amusing. It made traffic look like a fight between US internet cafés and Russian Federation spies. Unfortunately my host has disabled that feature on my behalf.
I've only begun to discover the possibilities of Analytics, such as filtering and tracking defined goals. But you don't have to worry. I'd have to be commited to a mental institution before I put ads or banners on this page.
Well, except for that one.
posted by Sigg3 @ 12:48 am
18.07.06 (category: news)
My life begins to look like a cheesy novel..
..and I'm the baffled maincharacter in the middle of it..
..which is why I've decided to go north for a week. That, and because I want to visit my grandmother and see my father again. I remember going there as a kid. Click here to see it on a map of Norway. They had buzzing businesses there years ago, before rich bastards bought all the fish quota, and today there's about 14 permanent residents there, including my ol' grandma.
I'm teaming up with my dad in Tromsø tomorrow night, and then we'll take the postal plane (YES!) at six am for three hours. It's not because the trip from Tromsø to Berlevåg is so mind-boggingly long, but because we've at least three stops across Finnmark during the flight, delivering the mail..
Things never go as you expect, and even though I'd expect to get some writing done in a so desolate yet breathtaking environment, I'm also going to partake in what social life the place can provide for. These are people I seldom see, since I'm usually so absorbed in My Own Things.
Just don't expect me to write any postcards. It is no post office where I'm going. No internets, no computers, and if a storm comes - guess what?! The roads are closed and telephone lines are cut. I might take some pictures. Take care.
posted by Sigg3 @ 10:18 pm
16.07.06 (category: news)
I have not written anything (big) the last two days. That's because I have been drinking the last two days. Today I'm re-composing myself. But I don't worry about me spending all my money on beer and good company.
I have good karma in abundance. For instance, at six am this morning when I was waltzing home good and drunk, singing Tom Waits and Roger Whittaker, I saved a white cat from drowning. Not per se, since it wasn't actually in the water, but it somehow had got itself trapped in a canoe. I know the junkies use these canoes for their unknown, mysterious purpouses.
This place is usually pretty scary. If you feel good about being alive, you wouldn't go there. This is the kind of place a blade in the dark would fit perfectly to the scene. I once was down there to check out the market rates, and I quickly realized I was too fond of being alive to hang around any longer.
But this morning was so bright you could see all the corners, and there was no one around. So I jumped down on the boards by the canoes.
I sat down and estimated the chances of me falling into the water in this self-less act of rescue. It was about 80%, I gathered, being drunk and all. I didn't want to do that. There's no telling where that river has been.
But the cat was calling for help. I looked around to see if there were any junkies in the water. Luckily, there were none, or else I'd probably have to reassess the situation and my manpower. I had a little chat with the cat, 'cause I was not going into that boat, and after a little while it felt confident enough to say hello. I grabbed it and took it with me to the street.
Thank God it ran away, or I'd probably have taken it home and fed it.
Also, it once happened that I woke up and was dead.
I thought "Shit, I'm dead, this must be a dream!"
And it was.
posted by Sigg3 @ 4:59 pm
13.07.06 (category: computerwelt)
Dude: Microsoft Product activation, are you activating Windows?
Dude: This the first time you activate windows?
Me: Well, yeah, it was pre-installed.
Dude: Can you read me the numbers on your screen?
Me: All nine blocks?
Dude: Just the first
Dude: That's a stationary or a laptop?
Dude: What brand is it? Dell, Fujitsu siemens, Compaq?
Me: Uh, it's a Dell.
Dude: Can you read the numbers on the label printed on it?
Me: The guys at the store removed the cover.
Dude: At the store?
Me: Yeah. They had to change the harddrive.
Dude: I didn't know Dell had stores.
Me: Oh, fuck.
Dude: Yes. But thanks for calling, anyway!
Me: Err, yeah, no problem.
Me: THE HUMANITY!
Product Activation of Doom And the Clock Is Ticking! Gaaaaaaah!
Note: This is purely a thought experiment. I would never violate copyright laws. Ever. Not once. Right? Who? Me? Pirated software? Nooo. *cough*
posted by Sigg3 @ 10:28 pm
Got meself a haircut today, so now I look 20 years younger! .. That is 2 years and 3 months old. I am as chubby as one too.
See girls on the street staring at my tits.
Hey! Men have feelings too! Eyes up here or further down, pls.
posted by Sigg3 @ 12:31 am
06.07.06 (category: literature)
Although a little late, here is the mock report I wrote before x-mas as promised:
What’s the meaning of it all? Well, we all know it’s 42. But what’s the use of it?
And how are we to relate this to Statistics and Social Researching?
In this challenging report, Sigbjørn S. Åmdal answers none of these questions and goes on to identifying the general outline of implementing common sense to nonsense.
He supercedes himself in terms of sustaining an objective analysis of science. It’s quite brilliant, so to speak.
And nobody knows just how it’s done. But everyone is amazed.
Check it out.
posted by Sigg3 @ 1:50 pm
I'll be away for two weeks, so you might not find much to do here until the middle of July. Well, that's not completely true. I am not going away, and I'll probably do some occasional blogging when I can't resist the urge. I'm taking two weeks off to round up a year-long book project, the first draft should be finished by September I hope, but I've been doing so much else lately that I'm dissacociated with the story.
So I'm taking two weeks off to go crazy with it. Completely mad.
This is by far the longest piece I've ever written. But although my previous novel was very, very short it had a complete story-body. This is very important. Faint books are shun by readers and myself, it's like sniffing cocaine through a kilo of flour. A book must be pure angel dust. See you around.
posted by Sigg3 @ 10:53 am