Saturday, February 28th 2004
Third Cubastory to reach the Truckin' zine!
I've been quite buissy lately, doing nothing most of the time, so it didn't came as a surprise when I discovered that - all of a sudden - one of my blog entries had reaced the latest edition of the Truckin' zine (Vol. 3, Issue 2)! Looking through my growing inbox filled to the brim with spam I at last stumbled over an e-mail from Pauly telling me about this.. So.. Here it is:
When we got there, however, we met someone we'd seen before: the entire Afrocuban Allstars were hanging around with a group of American girls... More
I haven't had the time to read through it yet, but since it originally was me who wrote the damn thing, I can't see how anything unappropriate should get into it.. or? Well. You should read the rest of the zine as well, of course:)
Friday, February 27th 2004
The week is at an end
Quote of the day was written by André Breton (1896-1966) in The Manifesto of Surrealism (1924):
"Let us not mince words: the marvelous is always beautiful. Anything marvelous is beautiful. In fact, only the marvelous is beautiful."
I knew I shouldn't have said that! Now I've got too much to do!
From Bislet to Grønnland (and hopefully not back again)
As you've gathered from the previous newsflashes on my current situation, my civil service for the Kingdom of Norway has begun. For 13 - thirteen - months I'll be working for close to nothing, as a deliveryboy and fax-machine-operator at the research institute known as Fafo institute Applied International Studies (FAFO AIS). The work I do here is pretty simple most of the time, until someone drops a bomb in my lap and I spend 4 hours straight reading through research reports on the internet. Sometimes it is interesting too. Sometimes not. Today, for instance, I've answered three phonecalls. This will either become one of those days where I do nothing, or I'll suddenly have a huge task in my hands which will cause some hectic last hours of this week, having idled away most of the day.
My mother and brother who lives in Bislet (Oslo), have had enough of me. Quite frankly, I understand them well. I too often get enough of me.. So, thanks to the civil service administration, I'm guaranteed a bed-sit near my assignmentpost. I got this fixed a month back or two, I think, and through this week I've been carrying stuff back and forth to this new home. My home. My own place.
Yesturday I'd moved every single compact disc of beautiful music to my place, and I arranged them in alphabetical order still knowing that this system would never last. Just wait! Today I'm bringing some clothes and looking at a madrass, because I ain't got any, and if I'm lucky I'll even get myself a mouthful of food before I have to attend somewhere. I'll have to be out of Bislet till Tuesday next week.
There's no TV and I haven't decided wether to bring along my computer or not, so right now all I have for entertainment is my music, my books and myself. I'm hoping that me moving to a place of my own can help me focus on what I think is more important than Ricky Lake, Oprah and Jerry Springer, for instance my reading or my writing. Or maybe just putting my life together after sorting out all the pieces of the puzzle:) I don't know..
It is still winterholiday here, the last week I think, and after that I might be very buissy doing stuff around here. I mean, if it continues like this I'll be one, fat bastard when the thirteen months are over, because the cantina down here is pretty amazing and the Friday-Waffles are great. Maybe a little too great, who knows?
As I've promised earlier, I'll upload a few pictures of my bedsit as soon as I get my digital cam down there. I promise you quite a tour, because I already love the place. Too bad I ain't got the money to keep it when I'm done serving my country, but that's the way it is. Maybe if I take some courses or begin to study here in Oslo I can stay, but as of right now I consider that an obstacle in my current plans. Well.. I wouldn't say I've done any planning, that wouldn't just be an exagguration but a complete lie, but I still have some clue of what I might be doing a year or two from now, but I won't tell you before I'm sure. More of this to come, peace out.
Dada experiment from the 16th of February
Yet the girl by Sigg3
(Dada experiment from 16.02.04)
Enlightens an awesome dream and dawn,
as with strange never-are-its,
I really light us.
We occour when into pre-arranged sleep.
Don't do justice,
The cathedral demon knows.
Thursday, February 26th 2004
Desperate cries from a distant desktop...
Here I am. It's 15:30 in the afternoon, which means that it's exactly 30 minutes left before I exit that door behind my back. I'm sitting at my office at FAFO in Oslo, looking out the window at that big, old Church in front of our building. My head is still spinning from yesturday's one-beer-too-much incident. Shit happens. It was fun, though, just not today.
I'd never thought that I'd be fit for a deskjob, lurching around the offices catching a glance of the co-workers trying to look buissy just as I. I was right. Not that this job sucks, it doesn't, it's just that one week of doing absolutely nothing while at work really gets to me. My head feels totally empty for words and ideas when I get out that door after another helpful yet unproductive day, even though I can't say that I've used it much. This is seriously a good lesson for me, because I've always thought that having an office kind of job must be easy, but it isn't. In addition, I keep recognizing scenes and situations from the Dilbert comics which is really annoying because it makes me walk around with this stupid smile (and my mug of coffe). Heh. Those who've endured long, long years in this voulentary imprisonment have my respect. Let's hope things get better after the winterholidays. Maybe I'll actually have to do something for my paycheck? I can only hope...
25 minutes left...
Wednesday, February 25th 2004
Short in cash? Take a loan through the world bank!
We all thought this was reserved for nations and institutions, but we were all wrong. All you have to do to get a loan from The World Bank is to write an agreement and sign it with your own initials and this one:
(Disclaimer: Sigg3 dot net can not be held legally responsible for any actions based on this information. ..What? Do you think I'm stupid?)
Tuesday, February 24th 2004
Kaada on tour!
Kaada tells his fan about his new tour in the latest newsletter. They begin next week and the dates/places looks something like this:
Monday, February 23rd 2004
Download the latest version of Microsoft Words for free (totally legal)!
Words are out that our beloved dictator and marketing genius, mr. Bill Gates, has announced that his latest version of Words®™ is out. "This final version is guaranteed to allow American-English writing and auto-completes sentences with words that rhymes with the beginning of it."
In addition, it is totally free! Gates says that this has to do with Microsoft®™'s economical situation, and the fact that he now can buy as much as 29 nuclear warheads and get the last one (in a bundle of 30) at discount rates. Spokesman of Microsoft®™, mr. Dic Khead, said in today's press conferance that the consumer should "consider this offer a payback of the latest years in Microsoft®™ slavery."
Click here to download for free!
Friday, February 20th 2004
Link of the day: Fetish fun
Yahoo! News can tell us about a (so-called) German fetishist who ran into some trouble while performing his very favourite activity.
Now, kids, don't do this at home.
(Don't worry, there's no graphical aid to the story, except for your imagination, of course. I can't do anything with that. In other words: my hands are tied:)
Thoughts after reading Kafka's "The Trial"
I've just finished reading Kafka's "The Trial" (a.k.a Der Prozess (de) and Prosessen (no)) which is supposed to be one of world literature's better works.
The version I've read is the 'critical edition' which is closer to Kafka's own writing and also has fragments of unfinished and cut-out chapters, which I hope will cast additional light into Kafka's darkness, hoping to reach
comprehension. (I haven't finished reading these fragments.)
Having a dangerous prejudice against it, being 'one of the greatest', I suffered from disappointment when the story finally came to an end. I felt that the book didn't handle the subject pretty well and that the book (or
maybe just _this_ edition of it) lacked a general outline to direct the reader to the right questions, giving it the right clues.
Word has it that Kafka didn't want to publish this, that he didn't write it for anybody to read it, and that he asked one of his friends to burn it before he died. This is hard to accept especially if he just wrote to himself, which - at least to me - should've resulted in shorter and more direct lines of reasoning. And where did his 'master skills' in literary constructions of reasonings go? Nobody knows.
What to make of this?
a) The book is actually not as good as people would like it to be.
b) I'm too stupid to see how great it is.
c) Kafka wrote to himself, which made the book pretty unsavoury.
In order to grant Kafka his greatness, I see now option but to go with alternative b), but doesn't this also state that Kafka was a bad author since he's not communicating with his reader?
Shocking news about Pauly!
It has been a while since I've read the Tao of Pauly but when I swung by it this morning, only two minutes ago, I was shocked. My pulse hasn't still declined down to the normal rate, and I fear it won't ever happen, because this news is ballbreaking!
PAULY CAN BE BLUFFED!
Re: Haley's Bluff
HDouble wrote: And I can't believe you let Haley bluff you!
Pauly, humble as always, answered:
Dear HDouble... I blew it! I had a better hand and now I'll never hear the end of it! My street cred has been ruined. Word is out... I can be bluffed.
And this is the pokerplayer we've all been betting our lifesavings on? The pokerplayer we've cancelled grandma's heartoperation to be able to keep updated on? The pokerplayer we'd gladly sell our house to, to support his future election campaign? The very same pokerplayer that has kept us awake, night after night, waiting for an e-mail from him to announce the latest scores? He can be bluffed? I'm still in a chock here. I feel as if the floor is moving, the sky is pink, and there may not be an afterlife. Because Pauly was bluffed.
The world ends tomorrow and YOU MAY DIE!! ...I mean, Pauly was bluffed.
Thursday, February 19th 2004
Link of the day: Tetris and global politics
Tetris: From Russia with love! We all love this simple, yet highly addictive, strategy game - a true gem among games, and which one of us haven't tried to beat the scores of friends and family? But is this just a game? According to this article the game has quite a political message as well, hidden behind those red, blue and yellow bricks falling from the top of the screen. Worth a read:)
Dagsavisen reports that Norwegian porn magazine Rapport (en. Report) is under investigation for violating the paragraph of showing pictures of erigated penises. The ex-editor said that he wanted to see how far he could push it, before his magazine would be considered to be unlawful. To me, this is clearly one of the most important political issues of today, since erigated penises obviously is the source of all evils in our society.
"Superstrange" news from the Sierra Leone conflict
This is pretty old news, dated 2001, but its value to us is uncategorical:
(unedited excerpt on RUF Fighters killed near Liberia border!)
"Independent reports from Makeni and Kenema state that Superman was killed in a bloody ambush near the Liberian border. (...) In Makeni, two RUF rebels, Tito and Raster explained that Superman was captured and slaughtered. (...) «If indeed his death is true, then it is good news,» one Makeni resident remarked."
Wednesday, February 18th 2004
Keep yourself updated on recent deaths!
I've been an active member of wikipedia dot org for quite some time now, but it wasn't until today that I discovered what turned out to be a really gloomy page, which happens to be the link of the day:
Wikipedia - Recent Deaths: A list of notable figures who have died recently. Don't try telling me that you're not interested, because you are! Every person I know turns to the graveyard ads at first, before looking through the rest of the newspaper.. And I am supposed to be morbid? Bah! If you know about someone "noticable" who passed out recently, and didn't get on the list, feel free to add him or her. You could also follow Martin's advice:
"Just kill people you feel should be on the front page."
Tuesday, February 17th 2004
An advice from hell: Be happy!
Entry originally written 15th of February, at the civilarmy camp.
"What am I doing with my life?" A question like this is the consequence of ending a conversation with a complete stranger when you've just learned that he was evicted from the military because he was too violent. A question like this is the consequence of finding yourself in the middle of nowhere, with dark woods all around the building which you are confined to, dark woods with unknown beasts and unmentionable perils.
I am asking myself questions of this nature because my situation seems unbelievable to me, trapped inside what reminds me of a mental institution, drinking free coffe while listening to how the other men in the same situation are playing tabletennis in the room next door. Men I will have to sleep in the same room with the two coming nights, men I know nothing of, except for the one who was too brutal to be allowed to serve in an international anti-terror military taskforce.
It occours to me that I - in the next couple of days, unless someone should take pity in me and kill me while I'm asleep - am in hell. "What is hell, then?" you ask, since I seem to know so much about it. Hell is repetition, and waiting in endless hours for the inevitable. Hell is knowing that you will wake up along with strangers thatn, for all you know, are in an even worse state of mental health than yourself. Hell is knowing that the same alarm used to send troops of soldiers into war and warn civilians of attacks from the air will wake you up the coming morning. Hell is being so hungry that you fantasize about sinking your teeth into the very same couch you're sitting on, knowing too well that there is a vendor machine in the next room, but you have no coins to operate it with.
Hell is knowing yourself so damn good that you are completely aware of the situation you find yourself in, and that it really isn't such a gruesome one, you've just decided to make it so. Hell is listening to painfully boring lifestories, stories which necessarily lacks a point, while you're yearning so much for that cold beer you can't have, that you feel the refreshing dew in your palms. Yes. Hell is here.
Apart from that, I'm doing just fine. Apart from that, I'm glad to know that this is only two short days of my life. Two days? What if I die at the end of the 2nd? Then I will go to heaven, for hell does not accept multiple offenders. If my heart should stop, my that only be a mere thought as long as I'm stuck here, it will become the point of my lifestory; underlining the reasons why life is meaningless, underlining that I - as I always used to be - was right.
I seek not to harvest your sympathy, as I am already doomed, but to inform you that you have no reason of being unhappy, of feeling miserable. I am living proof of this, and my current situation is my evidence.
Hence, be happy.
Later on, I added this, after overhearing another "entertaining" conversation:
Just a short example of what I've been going through, Nearly all conversations revolved around the following four topics: a)the army and sharing experiences from the time the story-teller served it, b)masturbation, c)the latest Ford model and d)hi-fi stereos. At worst I would here about some ex-military sharing his experience of masturbating on his hi-fi stereo in his friend's brand new Ford. At best I could amuse myself by listening to two nerds arguing for and against Windows OS and Linux, and wether .gif is pronounced 'jif' or 'gif'.
Sunday, February 15th 2004
A couple of user-sites by yours truly
I've been focusing on two web-projects the last couple of weeks, namely
In addition, more people than I would've thought have rated my weblog, and as far as I can see, the turnout is pretty well. Right now I have had 251 votes shared on five degrees of taste, like this:
Saturday, February 14th 2004
Valentine's Day my ass!
So, here we are, me and Kornelius, walking around the sunlit city of Oslo trying to find this particular shop for used clothing, because I really need to update my wardrobe with clothes that actually fit me.. We don't find the first one, at Majorstuen, so we decide that we're going to the one that I already know the location of, over at Sankthanshaugen. On our way in the city, we're met with bloodred hearts everywhere, in every café and shop window we see big signs reminding you of VALENTINE's Day.
Heh, we even meet some people carrying a handful of roses around. Romantic wankers.. I can't believe they fall for that trick! ("The Americans are celebrating fake love and compete to buy their girl or boy the most ridicolous and expensive token of appreciation, so why don't we emulate them?")
When we finally get there, the shop is closed of course, because it is Saturday.. We don't mind, however, continuing our conversation as we decide to head into a local café. We sit there for about an hour, I think, noticing that there are alot of people taking notice in us and eachother. Strange place, we figure, until I - before we're about to leave - have to
Why do the (already pretty amazing*) Americans celebrate this day? Is it really based on some historical event (similar to the Santa Claus) or is it just another big hoax - a conspiracy - based on some marketing genius' great ambitions?
Historychannel dot com claims that the legend says that (later St.) Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men - his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Let's say this legend is somehow close to the truth, something I have my doubts about, then this so-called tradition is based on a man who was pretty disloyal. Not only did he deliberately go against his own leader, Emperor Claudius II (cool name!), he also married young lovers in secret which probably meant against the will of their parents. Now, there is nothing else than these unrealistic lovestories Americans love more (besides from rag-to-riches stories), but when we face the historical facts, this disobedience would be a cornerstone in the symptoms of a falling society. Hence, he contributed to go against his own time, society, family, friends. He went against the very same community he himself grew up in. And why? Just because some young people, whom in other conditions would have known better, could have sex any time they wanted to.. In addition, we must not neglect the possibility of good, old Claudius being right, meaning Valentine contributed to making his own country more vulnerable for an enemy attack.
Anyway, I find it more probable that it is just another marketing-trick in a row of schemes invented by moneyloving capitalists.
Therefore I refuse to take part in this hypocrite tradition. I'd rather be called 'lonely and bitter', something I would have avoided if only this country didn't follow every, single step the "American Culture" should take. I've said my piece, now leave me alone! By the way, here's a valentine's card to all of you, with regards from my brother koew!
(* being amazing isn't necessarily a good thing.)
Friday, February 13th 2004
As some of you might have heard, I'm going to join the civil army this month. This is a non-violent alternative for Norwegian youngsters like myself (AS IF), listening to Eminem's Amityville, but it involves alot of sneeking around the papermill which makes out the Norwegian Justice Departement's bureaucracy (red tape). The coming Sunday, however, my efforts will be paid back as I'm to join a civil army camp, for even more health tests and get a mission assigned to me.
I'm hopefully going to spend my 13 month in the service of my crappy country (Norway, that is) working with peace-related research, in FAFO. I've arranged some sort of agreement with them, and they've arranged for a little place for me to live, which I hope to move into at the end of next week. As soon as I've got it, I'll post a picture of this brilliant bed-sit (actually it is 50% of a really nice, newly renovated, appartement), where I'll hopefully get the peace I need to continue my writing. This is my Remtor 1050 typewriter by the way:
I've gotten my hands on 4 rolls of ink-ribbon for this, something which is quite rare these days. I mean, everybody seems to run around with these black or silvercoated laptop's these days, so why should they produce any more of this. If you want to, nowadays, you can buy an electric typewriter wich uses printer-ink. I mean, come on. Where's the charm in that? And the fun? I mean, you can add as much Surround 5.1 as you like to and assign keyboard-strok-soundFX on your computer keyboard, but still it won't be the same.
Anyway, more coming soon about my situation. I'm going to have a beer now. One of my very best friends is turning 20 today, and I promised her to propose a toast to her honor. Congratulations! To the rest of you: Stay tuned!