NEWS |  ARCHIVES |  LINKS |  SITEMAP |  CONTACT

• Hell is other people

I was sitting at home last night feeling sorry for myself, when Velvet Underground came to the rescue. Here's Ride into the Sun:

Looking for another place
Somewhere else to be
Looking for another chance
To ride into the sun

Ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
Ride into the sun

Where everything seems so pretty
When you're lonely and tired of the city
Remember it's a flower made out of clay

To the city
Where everything seems so ugly
When your sitting at home in self pitty
Remember you're just one more person
Who's living there

It's hard to live in the city
It's hard to live in the city
It's hard to live in the city

(written by V.U, source; alwaysontherun.net)

I just got off the phone with my cousin, admin of kekepower.com, who assured me that the server would be up in less than 6 hours (that should be at around 8 p.m this evening). Stay tuned folks!

Oh, and thanks to kekepower for dealing with 50+ angry users and me, despite that we all live happily on his mercy. Thanks, thanks and thanks again!

sigge.kekepower.com, my sidekick-server, is down for the moment. It has been down since Saturday night I believe. I thought of sending an e-mail to the administratior, which happens to be my cousin, but since the server is down I figured it would be difficult for him to get his e-mail.

I'm going to give him a call before I leave work today, but I can't guarantee you anything. That's the price of free services.. Sites affected:

• Parent Directory: Salangen (www.salangen.tk), 30 users
• Mas O menos (www.masomenos.tk), 20 users

Sigg3.net is still going strong, however. I updated the sitemap yesterday and I've made some additional boxes on your right, as you can see. I've also been looking at the possibilities of upgrading from b2 to wordpress, since wordpress seems to have more of the stability in database structure and offers more features that I now have solved with (more or less successful) hacks. If I upgrade, you might see some design changes, yet again. I will simply make it easier for the eye to read, more user-friendly menus while not ignoring the individuality of designs you have all loved me for in the past.

Serious blogging makes for long texts, which again should be made as readable as possible. I'm using The World Wide Web Consortium as a starting point. Stay tuned!

Friends, the nomination of this year's participants for Female Of the Year has begun. I've already received two submissions, good ones too, but they have both ignored the forth rule of this year's contest: All suggestions and requests to nominees MUST contain a 50-word explanation of why just this woman should be part of the contest.

50 words isn't much. Damn, this post is more than that.

But don't miss the 5th rule: The nominee does not have to be a worldstar, but it must be possible to track down at least 1 - one - product the person has produced or participated in producing.

Why am I so demanding? It's simple! In order to have the best Female of the year contest on the web! I am going to present all the selected nominees in ordnung, do a little researh on them to really get under their skin. Something I learned from last year's contest.. our winner has nudepix on the net, and I didn't see them until after the election. So I've decided to learn more about the femmes suggested, so that I honestly can say that they're worthy of having their face (and/or body) on my frontpage for the entire coming year!

But don't pull back! This is still a feature for and by the user!
So keep them suggestions a-flowing!
One could say that we're lagging three months behind. We're coming into April soon and I still haven't presented you with the first nominee. What can I say? We're building up pressure here to keep you excited just until the last moment.. kind of like an orgasm, wouldn't you agree? Stay tuned for soon-to-come January Female.

First of all, I received an e-mail from princess007@digyou.com who wrote: "(..)it is the wish Of God for you to help me and my family, (and) God almighty will bless and Reward you abundantly." Later down it refers to 'abundantly' as 20% of 35 million USD.

Now, Nigerian 22yo princess.. if you are to convince me that you're not Liberian mafia, take a lesson in English Grammer. In addition, you don't get my attention. I receive 5 e-mails daily conserning lost treasures in Africa where x% will be mine if I invest, so the competition is strong. Hence, grip the reader, make him or her want to come over to Nigeria and help you, make the reader beg you to allow him/her to help you. In addition it could be clever to leave out lines such as 'note that this transaction is 100% risk free' and '(money) which you will strongly have absolute Control Over'. And what's up with your e-mail address? If you have 35mill. you should have a paid account and not some free shit. I'm not convinced.

So, to everyone else out there; unless you don't actually have a secret wish of being scammed by Liberian mafia, don't reply, or do as I - take a 100% risk - and write to princess007@digyou.com with the subject: I hereby defaced you, asshole!

.. Speaking of spam

This is the strangest thing I've received ever:

..and Abadilla in the Phillipines have opened a SPAM-only restaurant. Things seems to go well. "It only shows that people really like Spam, whether they are at home or outside," Abadilla says. Well, Abadilla, I can't say that I totally agree with you.

There has been a lot of controversy around the title of the last episode of the Star Wars Triology (really a "sixology"). In August we were told that it was going to be The Clone Wars. This is a letter posted at aintitcoolnews dot com with possible inside information on the subject:

Hi Harry,

A lttle nugget of Star Wars info...I work in the animation industry, and I've just had a very interesting conversation with ___________ ___. We were discussing the presentations for the upcoming MIPCOM tradefair which starts at the weekend, and she/he/it was talking about the _____________, and how successful it's been for them...etc...then she/he/it said that Lucasfilm will be announcing the title of Episode 3 early next week, and they were rushing to reprint some artwork with the new title to take to MIP.

She/he/it said the title had been 'Rise of the Empire', but George Lucas recently changed his mind, and it will now be titled 'The Creeping Fear'. She/he/it said this refers to a hooded Death type character who wipes out the Jedi.

If you do use this, can you be sure to leave out ___________ ___'s name...(I wouldn't want he/her/it to get into trouble!)

Thanks Harry,

Call me Gibby Bunt

So, we've the following alternatives:

• Rise of the Empire
• Attack of the Clones
• Creeping fear

To me Creeping fear sounds like a bad joke, and being so close to April the 1st, I reserve myself for being wrong. It is interesting, though, for anyone with a taste for the SW universe..

(Letter stolen from http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=17252)

CYBERSPACE - Joey Passmore is alone. The 14-year-old Internet enthusiast recently lost his cyber-girlfriend and computer soulmate, LUV_U2, and he's not sure how to deal with the confusing new emotions that have begun to stir inside him.

"I don't understand," moped Joey. "I gave her my love, my devotion, and the IP's of some private FTP sites."

Read the full article: «Teenager Dumped By Chat-Room Girlfriend»

I couldn't keep myself from blogging. Here it is:
The scariest picture I've seen all day

Sigg3.net's MySQL database was down today at 12:54 to around 12:57
due to a posting-flow by yours truly.
I apologize for any inconvenience this may have produced.
I hereby resign myself for the rest of the day.

If I were to write a book on social situations of interest, one of the most intriguing would be 'the elevator situation'. Not intriguing because of a fire and four people are stuck in the elevator screaming for water, food and cigarettes, or because of the X number of pornographic films based upon themes set to offices, but because of the mere intensity of the nothingness in the situation at hand.

People, human beings with all their lives, beliefs, hopes, dreams, sexual fantasies etc. etc. are pushed together like stacks of cards into a little box with insufficient airsupply. In our days they refuse to see the obvious humour of the situation, instead they desperately try to save it.

Let's see how.

I've set down the perimiter of my scientifical focus on one building with four floors and about a houndred people working there every day. I've decided that the cantina, everybody's littly sanctuary, is in the basement, along with the only inviting room for smoking smokers to do their thing (which is a completely other situation best described induvidually).

In the half-hour before I, the observer, take lunch, you can see smiling faces and recieve almost ecstatic internal e-mails telling you about how much they want to eat for lunch. This should prove that the hours the lunch are served are pretty social and loosened up. If you, during these specific hours (11-13), should encounter someone in the elevator going up from the cantina, you'll most probably have something to talk about; today's lunch, yesturday's lunch, the lunch you once had in France or anything else that is lunch-related.

Normally, however..

Normally, you don't have anything to talk about. You are the observer, not the actor, and should therefore shut up in order to let normal conditions be allowed to enter the situation, while still hiding from them the truth that you are a scientist at work. This is, of course, pretty hard to justify if you are to respect the ethics of science, which is why we silently forget about them now.

As I was saying; Normally, you don't have anything to talk about. Most persons, or research objects, I've met, have a fixed number of worthless conversations. The nature of these is easy to recognize: they can be started at any given time in any give situation (at the movie theatre, in the gym's locker-room, in the super or during a raging fire), they don't express any particular opinion which makes it easy to agree or disagree something the initial speaker can react upon, they tend to be friendly or neutral, and mostly they evolve around topics such as the weather or starving ethiopians. In any situation the object is insecure or to a degree; under stress, he or she (or it!) will with a probability of 0,8 start a worthless conversation with a randomized subject as mentioned above, or something so current and related to the job as a whole that the receiver can easily reply. In example:

Example 1: the humorous approach
[Object A is standing in the elevator and holds the door open for object B, which is hurrying to reach the elevator. A has already pushed the button represinting his/her floor, and B is going to the floor below.]
A smiles when B enters.
B: Thank you. (breathing)
A smiles again.
B: Don't want to be forced to walk all those stairs again.
A insinuates a common fact, subject: good health. Humorously.
B laughs to support A's feeble attempt of humour and/or knowledge.
[the Elevator reach the floor B is going to]

Example 2: the weather (random topic)
[Object A is standing in the elevator looking at him/herself in the mirror, more or less content, when B enters just before the door is closing]
A is under stress, not knowing wether B saw him/her looking at him/herself in the mirror.
A chooses a RANDOM TOPIC (see: worthless conversations); e.g. "The rain this morning was horrible"
B must reply positively to this, both to support A and because disliking the weather is a common opinion. If B wants a worthwhile conversation he or she can state that he or she really likes the rain because etc. etc.
[Elevator reach the designated floor]

Example 3: the Risk - and failure
[Object A is coming into the elevator on the third floor, elevator going down. Object B and C is standing there in silence.]
A is forced to recognize the situation presented. I.e: Is the silence there as a peaceful pause in a conversation, or is it a tense, endless silence?
A takes the Risk and gathers the situation is musing and peaceful.
A makes a joke on [RANDOM TOPIC] or [JOB-RELATED, CURRENT EVENT].
The silence remains.
A has failed and is henceforth presented with the choice of:
a) shutting up. (probability: 70%)
b) nervous laugh. (probability: 20%)
c) desperately get out of the elevator in a dramatical fashion. (probability: 10%)
The consequences of a), b) or c) are respictively:
- nothing serious that can't be justified later
- an additional tenseness to the already tense situation (see: social panic)
- panic and/or discomfort (among B and C)
[end of examples]

As shown above, these are highly normal occourences in the elevator situation. Yet people stubbornly do the same mistakes all over again; they fail to recognize the situation they've brought themselves into and deal with it like they normally would deal with a totally different situation, maybe with a café-setting, where everybody can escape the dismay at hand, thus failing.

In conclusion I'd just like to say that if you find the elevator situation tense, do not laugh nervously or comment the weather, just say the first thing that comes into your mind and humorize it! If nothing else, you've proven yourself not to be self-righteous and you can present that to your co-workers as an example of your character in a later social event. Of course some topics should be avoided. Don't blow away the limit, don't take the risk, be natural. AND DO REMEMBER TO BREATHE! Thanks.
Additional Note: more about this a-coming.
For references, see: In what way can you put 20 people in a fridge while still entertaining them?

My template is brilliant, of course, but I have received complaints about the availiability of certain featues of this domain, features I think pretty much makes out the reason why you want to be here. Because it is so damn cool.

So, I'll be moving around and changing the appearance of the set of "boxes" around this page, to make it more eyecatchy, efficient and dandy. Dandy? Eyecatchy and efficient, then. Please make no attempt to move these boxes yourself, this is a job for a skilled technician and shouldn't be done without proper security measures (cigarettes & coffee) or an on-(web)site supervisor. In addition, you can't.

Oh, before I forget it; Check out StrongBad's 100th Email!

There has been alot of back and forth when it comes to the market of children's literature, and what kind of effect it has, what kind of impact, on different areas like morale, education, sexuality etc. etc. Children have a different way of interpretation than grown-ups, naturally, and people are of course concerned what to believe of the latest, Dragon Ball for instance.

It was with great enthusiasm then, that Dr. Per Vert freudian psychiatrist, released his book on analyzing modern childrenliterature: One step forward this spring. Here's an excerpt from his research on the first Harry Potter book:

Children often plays with the synonymity in their interpretation of written and verbal communication, so I replaced the word wand with wang in JK Rowling's new best-selling book for children; Harry Potter. Here are the results:

[Harry is in the shop, Rowling plays on children's security in the parent-child relationship]
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches."

[Rowling is playing on teenage angst and rebellion]
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

[noteworthy example of freudianizing child-readers]
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang.
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

"Get - off - me!" Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

What we see here, dr. Per Vert says, is a typical case of sexualizing an innocent tale of magic and mystery, as the reader is cast into the ancient, greek tragedy of Oedipus, a cornerstone in Freudian psychology.

I don't know about you, but I find this veeeery interesting.

Yesturday was kind of a drag. I was running out of money, tobacco and I didn't have any food in my fridge. Now, I've got tobacco and food, 2 out of 3, and I'm content with that for the time being. There are a few, small occourences worth mentioning, though. Here's what happened yesturday evening.

So I was sitting at the tram heading homewards after I'd bought some tobacoo from a little kiosk in Bislet where you get 150g for the price of 100g. I was in a rather good mood, the day being almost over and I'd creatively produced a song, a couple of poems and worked on a short-story, and I was sitting there just content with everything, waiting for fate to give me something to laugh at. In front of me was a skinny woman, brown hair, distinctive features, who had looked pretty angry at me when I first entered and sat down in front of her. I didn't take any particular notice, I have a way of being disliked and thought this was just one more of those kind of "fine ladies", until I saw the title of the book she was reading. "Overvin angst und ontsickerheit", Dutch I believe, for Overcoming your angst and insecurity. I felt like saying something, like "Hey, if you want to overcome your angst, don't read books like that in public..", or "is it a good book? Does it work? - I found the How to kill your inner demons (for newbies) quite effective", but my humanity (oh, my humanity!) kept me from it.

Instead I looked out the window, keeping myself from bothering this nervous wreck.

In the mainstreet, Storgata, the tram had to stop for a red light before one of the scheduled stops, and I entertained myself by observing all those people running like mad to reach this tram, even though I'm sure they knew that another one was coming only 10 minutes later. People are in such a hurry, I silently stated to myself, and just as that conclusion had reached my concious mind, my observation was manifested;

On the sidewalk was an old woman, 75-80 years from what I gathered, with a crutch - you know the kind that spend all her sparetime (which is the rest of her life) sitting with her imaginary friends complaining about how much her fragile hips are bothering her - and SHE WAS RUNNING LIKE A MAD HORSE to catch the tram!!! Crutch swaying to her left side, hitting people and running into people, glowing with a desperate look of a horny monk!! I swear, laughing out loud (LOL) was the only solution! I had by then, naturally, forgot all about the nervous wreck in front of me, who nearly jumped out of her seat due to the stress I'd inflicted upon her already tense situation. Here she was, taking the steps back to a normal life, and I came to ruin it all. I couldn't stop laughing, though, this was like some bizarre interpretation of a Stephen King novel, the dead runs again, and soon I found tears running as I laughed so hard.

The old woman catched the tram while some youngsters didn't! Whatever happened to that angstfilled woman, though, is an unknown tale. I just hope that I didn't scare the shit out of her, making her commiting herself for another three years to that voluntary psychiatric institution I imagined she'd just left..

I reached my stop, but was so filled with energy that I underestimated my jump down from the seat and to the tramdoor, so I accidently jumped into a slightly blond, slightly not, female standing there. I excused myself and it turned out that she was in a mood where she found it heartily to forgive me. Everything seemed to be amusing, funny, entertaining, going my way, and here I was on my way home where a cup of coffe, cigarettes and Tom Waits' Nighthawks at the diner was waiting.

So, I was singing down the streets there, on the eastside of Oslo, whistling songs of the American Whistler (mr. Roger Whittaker) and just thought the day complete. Until I reached my block and sensed that someone had turned the corner just behind me in a I'm going to rob you fashion. I flexed. I kept the key to the frontdoor ready, and planned to surprise my stalker by suddenly turning left to my door. And I did. But I also scared myself, or surprised is more like it.. There, in front of me, was a beautiful, 25-year old woman smiling at me, probably because she thought I was a funny, lil' chap singing on my way home after a beer or something, and she'd stopped right next to me. I smiled back at her, opened the door, and she walked in and thanked me. My logic instincts told me that she lived here.. Now we'd entered the court of our building, where there are three-five entrances and passages to other buildings, still she turned left around the corner, following my steps, and voiced a question when I put my key in the door: "Do you live in this stairway?" I confirmed that I did and shook her hand and found myself utterly rejoiced of what had begun as a bad day. She lived on the forth floor and said she was looking forward to meeting me again.

All in all yesturday was a bad day that rebuilt itself! Now, if Lady Luck would care to send some cash my way, I would be very pleased, but I don't expect it. Don't expect the unexpected, because the unexpected will happen anyway, and if you expect it it is expected, leaving you with other alternative fates not counted upon.. and if not, I get paid next week.

Have you ever wondered what lies in the definition of REAL Ultimate power? Well, the REAL Ultimate Ninja Power webpage has dedicated a whole page to their favourite animal: the hippo. Check it: The Official Hippo Webpage

This is the heaviest design I've seen all day, and I can imagine I've visited some 150 of them before lunch. And the guy behind it? Well, he sure have a good taste. Give him praise at: bluepill@comcast.net

That's what today's selected SPAM said to me. Thinking about it, since I haven't turned twenty yet, made me really sick. Let's take the story even further, friends. Let's say that someone at 42 wanted to use this product. A woman. Fairly nice. Motherly. (I guess this SPAM was aimed at insecure women. It may not have been, but who reads SPAM anyway?)

Now, kids, there are a few facts of life a grown-up needs to face and this is one of them: Time may not exist, but aging does. Deal with it! Still there are many advantages of being 42. I'm not speaking from personal experience here, so kick me if I go wrong. For instance; you're allowed to go to whatever pub you want to. You get in anywhere. You probably have an income that allows you to get drunk as often and as long as you want to. You may or may not have kids, and both can be attractive for a man. You have probably studied and hence have the knowledge to make up an opinion about society, life in general and more specific areas of it; like what is my view on animal sex? If you dull your hair grey, you can get into any bus or subway without paying, just play the part of a lost housewife or even demented retired.

The other day, yesturday, while walking to work I mused myself in the good weather (today it is snowing...!) and sang to the birds, flexed to the girls and overally had a great time. Mondays tend to have this effect on me for some reason.. At least in the morning. So, there I was, walking, and I turned the corner that makes me face the church I work next to, knowing that this was going to be a beautiful, relaxing day (later I found out that I'd been wrong). A woman, nearly 35 I'd say, was walking back and forth in front of me, like 15 metres or so,

[okay, I'm @ work, had to go to the bathroom when 2 of my 3 phones rang simultaneously. The entire Administration is at a seminar, and I have to answer all the incoming calls by myself. And it is alot.]

when she suddenly bursted into singing. Now, some old country and western song would have been suitable for that age, I'd say, or maybe even tantalizing Dr. Hook. But no, yet again! She was honestly, without the usual sarcastic undertones, singing Britney Spear's Hit me baby one more time! This is taking the Look-and-feel-20-years-younger thing a bit too far, wouldn't you say? I, still in a good mood, went over to her and pointed out the fact that she wanted me to hit her. She looked at me with fear and disgust, like they always do, before she ran inside again leaving but her smoking cigarette on the ground and a smile on my face.

"What's the point?" you ask. The point of this story is: look and feel how young you want to, but keep in mind your own age. I'm not trying to say "dress your age!" or anything, I'm just pointing out that wishing you were younger may have varied results, and you only live once so why don't you take each year as it is? You're only 42 once!

.. or ten reasons to reconsider your level of IRC activity.

#4281
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

#4753
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

#77904
<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

#139697
<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

#1069
<orion`-`-> what the fuck
<orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
<orion`-`-> brbrb

#98450
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

#2999
<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.

#5543
<andy> moo spelled backwards is moo
<andy> no wait

#180081
<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

#2456
<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free

(abbrevations: Be right back (brb), Grand Theft Auto 3 (GTA3).)

Latest link, provided by Kornelius: Strindberg & Helium

I've finally made myself finish the update needed to make the old me.sigg3.net CLASSIC browseable. How did I do this? With a little help from a script made by Zyp I managed to create a me.sigg3.net-filebrowser, thank you very much. Visit the blessed thing by clicking here! It even has blogged stuff from 2001!! :)

I am tired.

But do not ignore this: a photo-series called 'My Place' which is photographs of... you guessed it! My place.. I made it into a little RPG (Role Playing Game), hope you don't mind... Now, either I get me some coffe or I'll fall asleep right here..

If you look at the previous post, notice that I've stroked out the things I've done:)
I am a buissy bee I am.