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Tuesday, July 29th 2008Linkage and free wifi
Yo, I'm innit!
LotD: Condensed History: The Race to the South Pole by ScaryDuck And who says I don't do brilliant translations? We just got settled in in a two bedroom apartment in Dublin. Yeah 'we' - Koew's here too. And the mysterious mr. S. He's got nothing better to do these days anyway. Might as well be unemployed in another country and call it vacation eh? Asked the cab driver if he knew where it was: - 'Course I do! Excellent area. Finest pipe bombs. Note to travelers: Irish humor is pretty black. Reality isn't black, just pretty humid. Bring umbrella. Monday, July 28th 2008The Emerald Isle and mr. Tom Waits hisself
Bollicks to this, I'm off to Dublin to tango till I'm sore.
 Weird photograph from the Irish countryside by Jimmy Lawlor. I'll bring me lappie. Nokia N95 firmware update v. 21.0.016
This isn't exactly news, because the firmware was made available 26th of March but I only saw this yesterday when I was recommended to upgrade my phone to install the new Nokia Maps app:
Nokia N95 software version 21.0.016 released - 26 March 2008 See Nokia software update news (Europe) (RSS) The new Maps application, however, adds aGPS functionality to the device. Why do I want it? Especially when the original Maps application didn't require you to pay for directions? Well, before I used to have really slow GPS first-time-fix time, e.g. the time it takes for you to get a first lock onto the 3-4 satellites "in your area". aGPS or Assisted GPS use the telecom protocols (e.g GPRS, EDGE, 3G etc.) to triangulate a more or less exact position hence aiding the satellites' actual work. Of course this requires a connection to the phone network so it costs whatever data you transfer (Nokia states 10kb) according to your data plan, your service provider and your location in the world. But to reduce the painful 10 minutes it has usually taken for me to lock on initially, I'm ready to pay a little sum those few times I actually use GPS. It's a turn-on turn-off feature as well, so I can still remove the a-part of it whenever I feel like it. Check out this little excerpt from the N95 manual for a few simple tips in GPS use: N95 GPS Connection Guide. I'm a little paranoid about satellites knowing my position, but it can't be denied that GPS removes a step from your physical fold-out map apart from actually carrying the map: You don't have to locate your whereabouts. Which is good. I'm always a little lost in terms of coordinates. And who knows, maybe I'll check out the geotagging feature for my flickr pictures. In the future using ExtGPS that connects to the laptop via bluetooth, I will be able to use GPS on my laptop. Add MySQL database and Kismet and you have a wardrive setup, baby. Whatever you do, remember to BACK UP ALL YOUR FILES from the phone using Nokia's backup tool and that you cannot downgrade once you've upgraded. More info in the Software Update FAQ. Some 3rd party apps (I have Kama Sutra illustrated, a pizza timer and ScreenSnap for instance) will have to be re-installed from phone memory -- which I wasn't able to -- or from your PC. So keep your .sis sources even though their certificates are likely to run out. Saturday, July 19th 2008Happy b-day "Uncle"
At least that's what they call him, in awe, in South Africa. That's right! Our favourite member of the Mandela family turned 90 years old today. Hooray! As a birthday gift and to take part in the world-wide celebration without having to face the moral judgment of history, the United States of the American Empire even deleted him from their lists of terrorists. One month ago. Yay.
But this isn't about that. It's about building bridges. Which is why I found it so nice to hear an NRK correspondent hail both winners of '93s Peace Prize: Mandela and de Klerk, because Mandela's legacy can't be anything else than facing your enemy like a man, and defeat hatred with peace -- a great feat for an individual that requires both insight and inner strength. My admiration. And the usual jingle:  Happy birthday NELSON MANDELA!      Today's occasion is however only an indirect reason why I'm sitting at home ripping CD's and drinking beer, on a Friday night. It's me mates. They may not be imprisoned for a -- philosophically -- just cause, such as freedom to vote for all, but they are enslaved by their wallets. It gives me time, though, to listen through my latest purchase: Aphex Twin's Windowlicker and Come to Daddy, as well as Captain Beefheart's Live at my father's place. In other news, a certain Duck that I find most Scary contacted me through the secret, underground network so that I could help out with his writing genius in these times of need. I might post a link when that Brit bastard decides to update. In the meantime, check out this Heavy Metal Monk. Kick ass.! .. Yes. I'm a little drunk. Thursday, July 10th 2008Truckin' July 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 7: Perfect Beach Readin'
Your favourite blogzine is back featuring the second installment in my ONO series. Pauly writes:
Thanks again to everyone for wasting your precious time month after month with Truckin'. This summer issue is anchored by veteran writers including everyone's favorite Norwegian word wanker, Sigge. John 'Falstaff' Hartness, Johnny Hughes, May B. Yesno, and Kajagugu round out the list of returning scribes. Oh, and I whipped up a snippet of a conversation that magically appeared out of thin air.  "What now?" I looked at Koew, being he was the main reason we'd got so far. "I'm gonna try and hook up with Binaerpilot if I can find him."  The night sky loomed with pregnant darkness, while a million brilliant lights in white, blue and orange from the city below fought the epic battle as hard as they could.  ...everything was muffled by the distance, the clashes of winds and the occasional screeches from soaring pterodactyls swooping down at us.  Binaerpilot himself was dancing behind an altar clad with a pirate flag whereupon his technical equipment rested...  ...while a blizzard of black and white drawings - Tokyo 3000 style - moved around in mechanical movements on a wall-to-wall projector screen behind him. (More Binärpilot photos)  Berlin by Paul McGuire It was in a hotel suite, not some dingy hot sheets motor inn near the airport. Anyway, my entire point was that at least I had the courtesy to keep my hooker alive, not like Uncle Teddy.... One Night Out Part II: Hunter-Hunter by Sigg3 The night sky loomed with pregnant darkness, while a million brilliant lights in white, blue and orange from the city below fought the epic battle as hard as they could. Sirens, shouting, gunshots and helicopters; everything was muffled by the distance... Of Lattes and Stuffed Monkeys by John 'Falstaff' Hartness I abandoned the carnage of my room, leaving an apocalypse of shattered glass and plastic on the sidewalk and the oak outside my window garlanded with t-shirts and sweaters. Five hours later I pulled up in front of my parents' house without ever really noticing how fast I was going or really having a plan as to where I was headed... All Those Things That Don't Change, Come What May by Johnny Hughes Jake inherited the Magic House when his drinking Uncle tried to empty a rabbit out of a long irrigation pipe and the pipe hit a high-line wire. The 1940s furniture clashed with Jake's beatnik, coffee-house conversational monologues sanctioned only by the weekend wannabe artists, singers, writers, and actors from the college that came to his regular parties, called Jake Parties... Don't You Know What I'm Thinking? by May B. Yesno You know, education is a funny thing. Too much of it in any one area makes you dumber. That's probably a bad way to look at it. Lets say, a very good foundation in a subject is a good thing, but as you continue to study it, it takes more and more effort to obtain less and less knowledge from it.... Cold by Kajagugu When we crossed the border we had to avoid detection and make it quickly to our destination. We had decoy units who crossed the border with us and then led the UN peacekeeping soldiers on a wild goose chase. With these fools out of the way we moved swiftly and silently... Wednesday, July 9th 2008Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (live in Oslo 2008)
I can't say my relationship with Bruce Springsteen a.k.a The Boss is as intimate as some of the other performers in The Summer of Music but it was definitely one of if not the greatest event I have been to so far in my life, with 40,000 people showing up to see him rock. All ages, sizes and forms were present, and the mood was generally good. They had beer, coffee & hotdog stands, and since none of them took VISA they had a banking tent allowing cash-outs for the "small fee" of 10%. They also had the biggest beer tank I have seen in a setting like this:
 Now THAT's what I call a barrel o'beer  Tickets were sold out so people had to be creative.. Yes, the small figures are people During the concert they showed a couple of guys sitting up in a tree to get a view  Crowds gathering before the show  The Boss in concert Sometimes it's hard to decide where to look - scene or screen?  Doing great for a 58 (almost 59) year old! Must be all the sex, drugs and rock & roll  The Big Man from E Street Band  Steve Van Zandt a.k.a Silvio Dante singing More pictures can be found at my photostream. Here are some live videos: Waiting on a Sunny Day Born in the USA Twist and Shout The concert was really rocking for the three (yes 3!) hours that it lasted, and it didn't seem to be an end to Springsteen's energy. There was also room for kids at the concert, and Bruce even dedicated a song "to my little friend", that is a young girl held up by her mother just in front of the stage that got some serious attention from the cameras. Shoulder to shoulder were the regular Hell's Angels type equally moved by the music:) Since I didn't knew any other songs than Born in the USA and Born to run it was fun to hear a lot of well-known material that apparently was his. Twist and Shout however, which was the final encore, was originally made by Phil Medley and Bert Russell in 1962. A great bonus for me was recognizing Van Zandt, which for me is a household name due to my Sopranos obsession. I knew he could play, but he also has a great voice. So does the Big Man Clemons. This concert would've been too one-sided without the great performance of the E Street Band. They also had nice facilities at Valle Hovin, countless latrines and a big ramp for wheelchair users (including guarded handicap toilets) that seemed to have a lot better view than the rest of us. Next time I'll be going in a wheelchair, since I'm not the kind of guy to voluntarily head into the mosh pit anyway. Tuesday, July 8th 2008I'm gonna miss it when I move
Just sitting by the window debugging and ripping my collection, I've had two window visitors from the street. That is, I live on the first floor, street-side, and since I smoke in here I need to have easy access to the window. Hence, every Japanese tourist from here to, well, Japan has the chance to catch me on tape. Or whatever it is that they use nowadays. Bluedisk? HD-ray? Donkey skin LPs?
#2 Drunk ol' man Came knocking at around half past eleven, clearly too drunk to remain seated in the student bar just up the street from where I live. He knocked on the window and waved inside. I didn't bother to open but since the top-window was open I could hear what he was saying to his mate in a grandpa matter-of-factly tone: «What a nice young man. He seemed so cheerful.» Nicest prying-eye old man I've encountered for quite some time, that didn't want my ass. Literally. #2 The Souvenir Date Twenty minutes ago, or ten minutes to two a.m., I had another knocking at the window. I was rather into a slashdot article so I jumped up, only to see an umpteen something smiling girl outside. I'm not used to girls smiling at me unless I have something in my face and they go like "what a cute little retard", so I guessed she knew me from before or something. Turned out I was wrong. - Would you like to go to a date? - A date? Given that it was ten minutes to two a.m. I'll leave it up to you to figure what kind of date she was talking about. Especially since most places close before 3am. - Yeah, I'm out here with me friends and I want you to come on a date - Ahm, that's very nice of you, but I can't - Why not? - Well, for one thing I have to get up real early in the morning - Oh, come on, it's weekend - Actually, it was Monday two hours ago - I know - And second, my gf would probably strangle me TO TEH DETH - Oh.. Can I have a souvenir? - A souvenir? - Yes, since I came over, knocked on your window and asked you for a date? - Oh, okay. I guess. What would that be then? - That's something you have to decide - Do you smoke? - Yes I couldn't bring myself to feed the barely legal illegal cigarettes. Instead I found a box of matches lying on the desk, the kind that lights up under any conditions. Someone gave them to me some time, but I have never used them, so why the hell not? - These are special matches. When you strike one, a baby angel's born. - Aww, thanks! [Yelling to her mates: HE GAVE ME A SOUVENIR!] Also: Lady C is going to kill me for this post. She done it before. Help. Friday, July 4th 2008The Summer of Music
2008 has proved to be the Summer of Music, now publicly declared. I usually catch brilliant artists by accident, but this year is exceptional with regards to big names:
Except for Waits playing in Dublin, these are all in or around Oslo. Check out my concert tagged photos from previous and coming shows from the artist above and more. Edit 8th of July I'm going to see Springsteen, since Lady C had an extra ticket. Today. To and fro Bodø Airport
June 24-29th I went to Røsvik with Lady C, and here's the flight log from my little black box. Incidentally, it doesn't say anything about the actual stay, just the coming and going. With respect to airport security. Here's an extract:
25.96.08: To Have you ever been sick of dogs humping your leg? (It's a rhetorical question, you animal lover.) Yes? What I do to teach 'em a lesson is simply grabbing hold of their leg and hump my heart's desire. At least when the dog's an airport security nasty with fascist fetishes from a traumatized childhood. At least, that's what I was thinking when I was waiting in line to get my public bumhole examination. I was anxious about my brand new Zippo lighter that my brother gave me for my birthday. It's custom engraved by hand and angel nail clippings: Philosophy and Bacon. Just to make sure that lighters were allowed in principle I had checked the new rules in full the night before. It's good reading and I can only recommend it if you need a laugh. Unfortunately, it seems the rules have been adopted uncritically from the USAE. I mean, how often do you see someone crying their heart out in security because they can't bring THE FLAMETHROWER they got for X-mas? Or the TOMAHAWK they bought in the gift shop? However, it's the more mundane and ordinary restrictions that create such annoyance. Like, you can't bring the cattle-prod inside the plane, but it's okay to ship it. And lighters? They are fine, one per person, as long as its not shaped like a gun and the fuel is completely absorbed into solid matter. What the fuck? Standing there I mused over several scenarios where the security guard saw all my books and the Zippo and put two and two together. As we all know, sec brutes didn't pass math in the first grade. - You making a fire, sir? - What? I read. - Three books on a weekend? - I could if I wanted to. But I'm not gonna - Fire is not allowed aboard the aircraft son, I can't allow you to bring this disguised weapon-of-mass-destruction firewood you refer to as books - I could put the seats on fire - Can't allow them either. From now on, we're all standing - And I think the floor is mostly carpet floor, right? - Removing the floor - What about the cabin crew? AFAIK airport hotels serve really crappy food - Your point? - Pure methane gas. Highly flammable - Crew's gone - And the engine fuel? - Way ahead of you, we've already drained the plane - And if I'm not mistaken, sir security guard, two vital components of any fire whatsoever are significant temperature and oxygen - I'll set the temperature down and suck out all the air. There you go. Have a nice flight! But when I got to the OMG Chernobyl cul-de-sac, they had replaced the usual low-brows with hot babes. Yeah. A barely legal with the tip of her elbows resting lightly on the top of the scanner and her back in an arch topped by her two nipples slightly visible in the air condition cool, gave me a lustful, daring stare as I approached the robot detector. I swear it was just like Sound of Music, skinny bratwurst lolita singing in the Alps. Suddenly the air smelled like spring, white doves appeared, the lambs of the season danced happily on the dewy grassland and surely the detector looked more like a wedding gate with roses, green ivy and white draperies. EEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Barely flexing the spirited teenage muscles of her high school body, the airport angel floated towards me just a few inches above the ground. - You will have to remove the belt, sir - I know, I said, sucking in the marvel of her Venus appearance - What? - Oh, sorry I was so disappointed when she didn't ask me to 'follow her'. I'd hump her leg any day. The rest of them, all girls, were chewing bubble gum and eyeing up the other guards and staring in the general direction of other male passengers' genitalia. And people were shocked and enraged a few weeks back when a child got into the x-ray...  Incidentally, the kid in casu was an alien Seriously though, the pass-through went better than expected. I just stood at the end of the conveyor belt collecting what remained of my items one-by-one, since one of the bubble heads had tipped over all of my white, plastic, anti-terror technological devices (boxes) during the FUD procedure. By the time I had recovered as much as I could find, I had to run for my gate. 'Boarding' the screen said, but it hadn't checked its info with the rest of reality 'cause they were only letting disabled people, senior and junior citizens through. I have yet to experience a flight where the majority's minors or contenders in the Special Olympics and they have to wait. Man looked at me when I accidentally stepped on his heel, and said: "Are you a fucking idiot?" - Mentally challenged, you insensitive clod! - Oh, sorry Then I was moved in front of the line. Which is the right place to be, given that you'll be sitting on the plane waiting while the rest of the plane is boarding. Then the captain goes something like: "Cabin crew disarm lights", which is the motherfucking cabin crew slang shit for "dim down yo ride biatch", and the plane takes off. And the kids squeal in delight, babies from agony and some people just join in for the heck of it. I'm not going to say anything about prepackaged meals, 'cause I don't want to end up like Jerry Seinfeld. 26.06.08: Fro .. way back though, bastards took my sun lotion! The container was too big, although two 3rds had gone already, but empty containers are apparently extremely dangerous. Didn't like my brand either, Jihad on Sun factor nine-eleven. - I'm gonna have to confiscate that dangerous item - But it's nearly empty.. - You're not making sense. The container is too big - But I need it! My skin! It will crumble and fall off in scales like the T1000 in T2! - Sorry, can't have it - «Then Moses said unto Pharaoh: Let my people have lotion, and lubricate» - No can do. But you can check it in, the girl said with a smile - OF COURSE! I screamed. It will only take another hour and a half to get back here! Got to the gates, Lady C traveling economy and I on Diamond Line VIP. Set to be a relaxing experience of soothing comfort, you'd think. Aside from the fact that her flight was leaving when my plane hadn't even arrived! So there was I, tightly secured from any chance of smoking and severly vulnerable to third-degree sunburns while the common folk were humping away leisurely an hour and a half before the elite. Then someone on Scandinavian Airlines - Yes, I will call names - had a brilliant idea; Let's get these people boarded now, this way we will save time while waiting for the plane onto which the passengers are supposed to embark to arrive. Brilliant. We were queuing up and herded into a closed-off part of the gate like sheep, like cattle, like common folk. The area was too small for the crowd of passengers. I couldn't take it. - Look missy, you're not fooling anyone! You can't board people now, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. No plane to embark. No hill where the grass is greener. You can't cross the river of Styx on an optimistic whim! No less fly to Oslo in an aircraft that refuses to manifest itself! The stewardess looked at me like I was a first grader, she mrs. Jenkins, and the crowd behind all the parents of the entire class of 03. Fuck 'em. - Do you want to scan your fingerprint, sir? - No, I said confidently. I work in IT. There was a murmur behind me. - You know, I added, we're not really saving any time doing this here She didn't say anything. Instead I got a text from Lady C beaming from Oslo International Airport wondering when the plane was going to land. "LAND?!!" I yelled on the phone, "we're still waiting for some god damn evidence regarding the plane's physical existence!" "Oh," she said. And I could just hear how she struggled to hold back all the smug remarks about VIP class. - When do you expect to take off then? - At this rate? Post-mortem. See you on the other side! When the the plane finally decided to descend from above we had to wait for an ambulance that was there for a pickup. At that point courtesy was void and thankfully democracy as well, as people behind yelled for lynching and to let the mothafuggah burn. Ready to embark I looked at the watch and up again, sending a tell-tale gaze in the particular direction of Mrs. Jenkins. It said: See? Was I right or was I right? Holy Jebus H. Christ el Salvador jelly-fish-faced Jehova on a vampire stake, for Christ's sake! I was right!? Who would've known??!!!11!eleven! The flawless and effective SAS passenger handling has unforeseen consequences, however, and we were forced to wait fifteen minutes outside the plane.  Did you ever notice that most Boeing 737s look a bit "patchy"? I mean, despite their funny name, Boeing *boing boing boing*.. F.I.N.A.L.L.Y inside the plane, I got to the rear and found my seat, sat down, looked up into the eyes of a baby looking straight back at me. "Holy Bloody Mary and the Sanitary Napkin!" The mum was shocked at my outcry. Well, at the least the kid gets to know some North-Norwegian slang. Babies on planes. The situation has been thoroughly described on several occasions by Dr. Pauly to such an extent that it is formally known as Pauly's Position in the scientific world. And it's indeed an unfavorable position, that reaches its climax during taxi, take-off and landing. In fact, statistics show you'll have a reduced quality-of-life throughout the entire flight. Sampling includes syntax for risk-relief (virtually zero when the flight's fully booked), senior stripper sideviews, temporary and permanent loss of hearing, and random variables for throwing up -- or simply throwing inanimate OR animate objects around, regardless of property rights and the general respect for other people's personal boundaries. Seated in the middle, suffice to say I spent the two hours as a buffer 'tween mother & child and a weird guy gobbling GUMMY BEARS from a brown paper bag. .....I should have checked in the damn lotion. Defeat. Thursday, July 3rd 2008Interview with Zenwalk creator
Here's a quick interview with the original creator of my favourite OS, namely Zenwalk GNU/Linux for the desktop user. Jean-Philippe Guillemin, age 36, started Zenwalk (then known as Minislack) as a personal expansion project and to simplify his own installation processes. Today, he's mainly leadership responsibilities like administration tools development, kernel configuration, Desktop design, and strategic decisions.
Full interview: Interview with Jean-Philippe Guillemin, Zenwalk’s creator The interview was mentioned in Distrowatch's issue #259 and I figured I should pay homage here as well, since Zenwalk has become my base operating system. Wednesday, July 2nd 2008The Man in Oslo - Leonard Cohen Tour 2008
Oslo was in ecstasy when the man entered the stage in front of around 13,000 people on Bislet stadion last night. I was one of them. Add Koew, Kornelius, Apoet, Lady C, Lady C's mother, my own mother, my sister, the mysterious mr. S and around 12,991 others and you have a great crowd in concert. I have never been to Bislet stadium before, but new and renovated it proved worthy of its first big musical event in years: Leonard Cohen Tour 2008.
Norwegian news media always emphasize the special relationship between Cohen and Norway, due to his affair with Marianne, which is highly overrated. The relationship consists mainly from everyone's private record collection in which Cohen is very likely to have his own place. Righteously, I should add. There were only two-three songs I hadn't heard before. During I'm your man the applause went wild at the chorus, and when he sang Take this Waltz I must admit I was touched to tears and speechless. Thank you, Cohen. For your words, your art and your grace. «I didn't come all the way to Oslo just to fool ya» ˜ Cohen  Bislet Stadium a few hours before the concert I barely managed to gobble down a mini pizza before we headed out  The view from block A where we were seated Ironically, these were the best tickets available at ticket sale's opening hour  People living nearby had free access to the glory Even the roofs were populated by fans  The concert gets going  Bring more beer over here, please  Hallelujah!  I think this blurry picture depicts Cohen's persisting energy on stage Born in 1934 it is an honor, and quite the gift, to get to see the old gentleman hunter perform live. Like he said: "..and if you want another kind of love, I'll wear this old mask for you" Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself: Suzanne - Cohen, Oslo 2008 Hallelujah - Cohen, Oslo 2008 First we take Manhattan, Then we take Berlin - Cohen, Oslo 2008 Before you shoot me down, let me add that this was taken with my cellphone, hence the audio and image quality. Also, we couldn't help singing along, so you might hear some rather curious backing vocals from behind the camera. I have some mp3s too sounding, well, like bootlegs should: Gipsy Wife (the laughing is about a couple of drunks waltzing mathilda on the racetrack), Tower of Song, If it be your will (Cohen reads the first verse) and Take This Waltz. There's a lot of atmosphere caught there, including what it sounds like to be inside my shirt. Right click and save as *.mp3. Enjoy! Tuesday, July 1st 2008Last five pics Fire exits in Bodø airport.. This architect clearly saw Star Wars as a kid, don't you think?  This is where we slept, in an old storehouse Almost felt like living in a dollhouse  The bedroom view Sheltered from the world we had a small veranda, couple of chairs and coffee:)  Oslomøy at dock in Røsvik  The brilliant midnight sun appearing at around 2am.. It was hot too!
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