one week in peace 1:2
I am not a believer, but I seek. About one month after christmas, my mother asked me and my brother if we're interested in going to a monastery in France. This place was called Taizé, and should be unlike any other in the world. First off I was afraid to end up with lots of old orthodoks people, critizising me for having no relegion (or the one I find myself most comfortable in: rastafarianism), but after a few weeks I decided to be a little adventurous, after all: it was France we're going to! My brother couldn't care less, and stayed home. For myself I looked forward to be able to talk sense to people, and meet other seeking people from all over the world. So on the 19th of July, mum and me went to Oslo where we spent the night at some relatives. Then ahead of us was a busride from Siggerud, right outside Oslo, to Taizé lasting 30 hours.......
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The busride was kind of great, cause I really felt adventurous. The rest of the bunch (norwegian and/or swedish) had ceremonies at which I did not participate.. I would just feel like an intruder.
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most of the time I was reading the biography of J.R.R Tolkien, listening to Nirvana or writing lyrics/poems/thoughts. I also begun to realize that this trip most definetely would turn out to be something different than I'd imagined.. Going from norway to: sweden (bad hotdogs), denmark (satisfying smoking regulations:none) and then to Hamburg from where we would cross the border to France. Somewhere on Autobahn 1, we stopped, and this is what I wrote afterwards:
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[ Germany, Saturday 22:53 ]
"I'm now sitting in the bus and have been since 6 am this morning. IOW 30hrs-15hrs = we're half there! Have just had a little break, smoke and time to brush our teeth, in a 'harry' gasstation with hip, german youth hanging around expencive cars... Have travelled from Oslo to Siggerud, Göteborg, through all Denmark and we've been sticking to Autobahn 1 to Hamburg (I think we're there sometime tonight). Looking forward getting there. Read a letter from brother Roger, heard an interview (casette) about Taizé, who's pronounced [teze]. As a youth, I've got three alternatives when I get there: 1)Work, 2)Bible Discussion Groups and 3)Peace/meditation. I think alt. 2 or 3 is just the right one for me, considering 35+ celsius degrees (95 Fahrenheit degrees). But right here it's cold, and mum points out that it's very dark at nights*."
(* in Norway I live above the polar circle, making summer nights sunny and winter days dark!)
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After listening to some Nirvana, discovering the fact that Nevermind's greatest track is 'something in the way', I made some thoughts and slept. Next day I woke up in France and cursed myself for not being awake when crossing the border..:) Later on we stopped at a diner to get some breakfast, and I wrote this thing:
[ France, Sunday 10:18 ]
"Sitting in the bus, and for an hour ago I drunk my first, french Café Noir (that's black cofee to nonfrenchspeaking), in other words: we're in the old country! Castles, bridges, walls and gardens - everything's from the middle age, and it's great. In a street-diner they had pink toiletpapir and ashtrays in the bathrooms, you just have to love this place. By noon we'll hopefully be in Taizé, but mum and me (+another 70% of the people in the bus) will ride the bus a little longer to an ancient monastery, sometime a great meetingpoint in the catholic world. It's great! Then I met the other 17-year old person on this bus, a guy from Siggerud who knew the expression grunge. He didn't listen so much to music nowadays, 'cause people like Kristian Strand* is fucking up Norway and the homestead of this fellow."
(* Kristian Strand is a norwegian pop-artist.. nobody likes him:)
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This was the last report written before I saw Taizé for the first time in my life. It looked hot and interesting. Buuuut we're going on to Cliny (a local village and center), thank God in the same bus.. airconditioning have never had any meaning to me, before I enjoyed the french sun..:) About ten kilometers from Taizé (which actually was just a very, very small village) we stumbled into Cliny. Mum died for a coke, and I was taken by the beauty of medieval architecture. So we trotted along in this old village, and being sunday no shops were open, only a few resturants.. It appeared to me at the time, that the only income of this village must have been resturants and tabac shops (french for tobacco), and it wasn't a bad assumption at all. Everywhere it was little diners and pizza-resturants, and on the next corner: tabac shops.. now, after having walked all way through the village, and around it, we ended up with drinking a coke with some swedish people. They were really nice and had been to Taizé three or four times. I would get to know one of them a bit later (more about that soon). Then returning, we entered Taizé, and everyone under 30 years of age joined one group and every above another, naturally. So we spoke to a brother, then a visitor having the task of helping newbies settle down, and we were given the same alternatives of passtime (eh, activity is possibly a more appropriate word) as mentioned above. Only that meditation was not recommended when you're not an adult (35+) and at least not when it was your first trip to this place. I then choosed the working option, don't want to spend all my time here talking bible. That was a rap, and I was given a bed in barrack 103a. In there I met with a swedish guy (not from our bus), a guy from France (Antoine) and one from Singapore (Luke). They were all very polite, and I hoped (by ***) they would let themselves go a little more in a day or two. (the pressure of overbearing politeness was too much.. I had to take a cigarette). And that's when I got to talk to Antione. He seemed like a nice guy, taking tobacco from me and all:) But hey! I've all the time in the world to shop tobacco, friends don't grow everywhere. I was just being friendly, and that payed back alot! Next report from the first evening coming up:
[ Day 1 @ Taizé, 22-23:00 ]
"This place rocks, but I was ditched by a swedish girl (from my own bus) because of my rasta necklace. Made friend with a guy from France (Antoine) and a polish girl I've been working with in brother Lutz' group. Cute girl. Also I've been smoking too much, mainly 'cause of Anton but we discovered they do sell cigarettes at Oyack, that's a local kiosk run by visitors. Myself I've been going through somewhat 1000 songbooks today and folded clothings for bare shoulders. The food is very easy (which is giving my stomach a hard time) and the weather today has been unlikingly hot. We might go to Cliny tomorrow (or sometime in the near future) but we the times of bus depart/arrival. We're going there to buy us some tobacco, but I need to get some money first. Now it's time to sleep. Have to get up at oh-eight-houndred tomorrow...:)"
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An old tower just beside Oyack, drawn by me (C)
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for your information: 1)Brother Lutz was the brother responsible for those working in church as I was. He was tall, almost bald and extremely cool. 2)The polish girl was cute. 4) the food was not the best quality, so everyone could afford it. I got used to it and quite liked it .. especially the mashed potatoes. 3)Every day it was three prayers; morning-, dinner- and eveningprayer. I had to attend to everyone of these and be a kind of guard. That is, I discretely told people to not take photographs during prayer, please take kids to a barrack where they would be entertained and not disturb people, make them not lay on their backs (that was offensive) and wear clothings over bear shoulders if any. This was all rules to not offend any of the people in church, considering the fact that we're all from all over the world and had different cultures. And it was also to not disturb the ones meditating (as I managed to sometimes). After evening prayer I met with the others of my group and started preparing the church for the morning prayer. This was a very funny task, even though it was hard work. Being a person not satisfied when not perfect, I can imagine I did a fairly good job:) Moving on a bit, things starting to happen.
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[ Day 3 @ La Morada - Taizé, ap. 11-12:00 ]
"I'm now sitting at La Morada (info/brother's hangout) waiting for one of the brothers who's going to speak with me. It's not a shot in the dark to believe that these people are convinced that I do drugs, and yesturday I had to give them my cannabis-necklace, because this can make people think I buy/sell. I'm not sure of what outcome to expect of this, 'cause they'll think I'm lying anyway. One of the brothers saw me lying in my bed, listening and singing to Nirvana while drawing (being a bit.. tired:). I can understand why these people are careful with thousands of youths in this camp every year, I bet they don't want to end up like the world's greatest hasjish-gathering:) Anyways, I hope this thing is over with soon. Have been waiting in 45 min in this heat (it's warmer today than it was yesturday and the day before!). cya."
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I was actually finding it hileraously funny when a german walked up to me and asked if I smoked marihuana, and wanted me to come to La Morada, but when I was sitting there in the "office", I didn't feel so good. It was like being told I had done something wrong. and the worst thing was; they was expecting it to come from me! What happened later was that I saw this brother and he chit-chatted to himself in about half an hour, not believing anything coming from my mouth. So, first I was damned pissed off, but when I had cooled it down I decided to not make this ruin my precious time here. and later it seemed, this was the best thing to do:)
I want to tell you about the life in Taizé, or at least the schedule. First off when you've gotten out of bed and taken a shower it's morning prayer at 08:15 am. Then you're off to breakfast which is most likely two pieces of bread and a yoghurt or a chocolate with some water (good and healthy). At 10:00 you meet with your bible group, first off the entire group which in my case consisted of maybe 100 persons or even more. Then a brother (didn't get his name), and our leader, spoke about some extractions from the bible, which we were to discuss in even smaller groups. I was in a group with two swedish girls, two finnish girls (mina ratastan sinua), lots of germans, David from South Hampton (England) and later Tom. We never got to discuss the real subjects unfortunately, though I really found them interesting, not even being a christian:) At 12:20 it was dinnerprayer followed by lunch (which varied from day to day). Fourteen houndred hours you could go to songpractice (which I never did.. it's no use denying the fact that I cannot sing) or meditate in the silent park. 15:30 meeting for those who didn't had it at 10:00 and work. 17:15 tea (this is when I met the rest of the group including my mother every day). 19:00 supper. 20:30 eveningprayer followed by wake in the church and silence. After evening prayer most of the kids (and most of them swedish confirmants) went to Oyack to paaaaaarty, but I had my working hours just then and really enjoyed it. Then at 00:00 it was lights off, and shhhhhhhhh to the neighbours and people snoring... Wouldn't think a monastery could be so hectical, would you?
on to the point. I really enjoyed the prayers, being stunned and amazed by the powerful feeling of 2500 people in one room just being silent. It was great. Then we had this hymns, which was in all languages (I preferred latin), which we would repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat, till we reached this state of trance... where some would be able to get close to their god, and some just find inner peace. I found it.
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inside the peace...
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taizé have room for 10.000 people, but in my week it was about 2500 people (still alot). this was a lucky shot, 'cause more people means alot longer food queues and great working groups. When there's alot of people, you don't have the same oppurtunity to get to know them. Too bad someone always stays there in longer/shorter times, as I experienced.
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[ Friday Taizé, 16:30 ]
The day before yesturday Luke from Singapore went, and yesturday Tom (Lithuenia) came. 10 o' clock in the morning he told me how he got here, but mostly why. He's hitchiked and worked himself through approx. entire Europe (Polen, Tsjekkia, Slovakia, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, France, Great Britain, Portugal, Algerie (airport), Finland, Latvia, Estia, Russia, Denmark, Holland and Mayyarorszag). He was in Lyon on his way to Paris and he was standing on the trainstation, waiting for the train. Next to him stood a middleaged man, middleclass and with a weddingring. When the train came, this guy turned to Tom and said:"Voila!" and then he jumped in front of the train. Tom told me the gory details (not because I wanted to, but 'cause he needed to), and it must have been terrible. This is his third time here, but this time he came to shelter and seek refuge for all the evil in the world. He's a bit shocked, but mostly devistated since his fiancé's in the States. He, like Antoine, is an interesting person and extremely open. It's interesting hearing about his stories from the underground all over Europe. I.e he bumped into some russians on a train/bus-station, who's really kicking it as homeless!! (From what I've heard, these guys most've been the most sincere prophets of grunge.) They must have been really convinced in belief, because they meant that the materialistic society's some real shit, and that's y they arn't a part of it... In addition, they're "cool like Fonzie".
At the time Antoine's in a bad mood and mostly sticks to his french/belgium friends, cause the depart of his (new) love. Haven't been able to cut out the smoking, but I've understood that it happens when it's time. Right now I'm smoking a sweetly, medium strong, american tobacco, known as Interval type Blond.
Outside swedish confirmants(/kids) is rushing it in the sun like maniacs. Among the following, I didn't think the world of them... The german kid next door (listens to bad, german trance and acts like a neanderthal) and the german who accused me for smoking/selling/buying pot.
But now it's soon time for tea (5:15 pm). Am going to have an Interval Blond before I head in that direction. By the way, I've realized how beautiful/melodic the finish language is, have read through the biogrophy of Tolkien and I've started on my next book; "the history of philosophy-from the greeks and in the middle age" from 1929. Incredible interesting actually! Talk to you later.
[mina ratastan sinua = I love you (fi)]
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Giving you the information above, I can also add that Tom's been doing great lately, despite what he saw and what he probably have to live with for the rest of his life.
Life evolved when Tom came into the picture, 'cause I think he really needed to have some fun. His mood was always changing from happy to sad, but it all got better when he'd reached his girl in USA, and making sure she stilled love him. When Anton and Tom got to know each other, we were hanging along all the time. It's great to make new friends, and I hope I can keep the contact with the both of them.... Here's a note written in Cluny, the village;
[ Cluni, 11:50 ]
I'm sitting here with Antoine in a travelagency and he's going to buy tickets to Chermond-Ferrant, where he'll visit his girlfriend. Outside the weather is great, and have just spent 49 Franc on 2 pouches of tabac/tobacco and 2 sigarilloes.... Just love this country. Had to borrow 100FF from Anton, but I'll pay him back tonite. Just ate a bun with chocolate in it, something similar to my frenchteacher, A Negro's favorite, paîne au chocolat, very good. The people here don't seem to like tourists (except the shops, course), but when Anton is leading (in french) they change the mood rapidly:) Speak 2u later.
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This was a great pause from the life in Taizé. Really, the brothers recommend us/urged us to stay within the parameters of the sanctuary, but one could need a break - once! We strolled up an down the streets of the village, spending money we didn't have on soda, cancer (in shape of cigarettes:), buns and lots of great stuff.. And believe this: in the middle of this small-as-a-thumb sized village in the middle of nowhere, France, I found a pizzeria selling Pizza Norvegiénne (Pizza Norway)! buuuut I didn't travel abroad to eat norwegian food, so me and Anton found ourselves a nice place out in the street, but under the shade, and had a great time eating pizza. I had "Aux trois froiches" or something like that. Good and the original way!! After we'd return to Taizé, Anton found a girl he had to accompany to Oyack, so I left him and wandered down the street in the old Taizé...
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